Fibromyalgia Resource

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Depression - A real "hot-button" word for us. As well it should be, for many of us have received the "it's all in your head" treatment. Symptoms that are all too real for us have been brushed off as "just depression".

And why shouldn't we be depressed? Our lives, and how we chose to live them, have been taken from our control by a disease that many do not even believe exists. Others frequently try to make us feel guilty about the things we are now unable to do. We grieve for our lives as we had them planned, and we feel sad and hopeless at times.

These feelings certainly sound familiar to me. I get "sick and tired of being sick and tired" and frustrated by those things I love but am too "sick and tired" to do. I'm sure there is an occasional CFIDS/FM sufferer who is truly depressed as defined by the psychological community. But for most of us, this depression is "situational". It’s caused by our disease, but is not the cause of it.

In one of the books I read about CFIDS long ago, one story really stood out. It was about a CFIDS patient who loved to go ballroom dancing with her husband. They had enjoyed doing this for many years. But now her illness had taken away something that was so enjoyable for her. She made up her mind that she would find a way to be able to go dancing occasionally. She planned her week so that she could spend most or all of the day before and the day after the evening out, in bed. And she rested most of the day before getting ready to go out. She was able to dance, at the most, every other dance, and rest in between. Some evenings, she could only dance 2 or 3 dances. But she COULD dance, and that was what was important. She set her priority, and found a way to accomplish it. The enjoyment was well worth the alteration of other priorities in her life.

How can we deal with this "situational" depression? First, don't keep these feelings to yourself. Reach out to your support system, whether it’s your family, friends, church, or others. People spontaneously reach out to those with a "visible" illness. But those of us with illnesses that are not easily perceived by others must let our needs be known. We also need to let our doctor know if we are feeling symptoms of sadness, anxiety or depression. Perhaps our medications can be changed or adjusted to help with these symptoms.

We may need a referral to a mental health professional. Counseling is frequently helpful with the feelings of loss, and with regaining some control of our lives. In many communities, there are support groups for CFIDS/FM sufferers. There are many such groups on-line. It is good for us to communicate with others who know where we are. It helps us to hear how others have dealt with issues we might be facing. And it helps to know that we are not alone.

The other important things we can learn from others who are "blessed" with our diseases is how to deal with day to day issues. You need to consider ideas about how to balance your need to do things, with your need to rest. Figure out how to pace yourself to accomplish those things that are important to you. Decide how to let go of those things that are less important.

It is normal for us to get depressed. Even when we have learned ways to do the important things, as the woman did in the story, we will have times of sadness. But we can reach out to others. We can seek counseling. We can let those around us know our needs. Sometimes that may be just a hug. Sometimes it is doing the dishes, or running an errand for us. If we let all those things we "can't" do wear us down, we will never have energy enough to do all those things that we CAN do. Rest when your body says rest. Ask others for help. Cry when you need to. But don't let unnecessary depression deplete energy you need to live your life in the fullest possible way.

My hugs to each of you. Take care and Be Well.

Yours in Health,

Eunice

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My articles and email responses are not being offered as those of a healthcare provider. The information and opinions included are intended to give you some information about your disease. It is very important that you empower yourself with knowledge and participate in your own search for care. Any advice given is not intended to take the place of advice of your physician or mental health care provider. Always follow your physician's advice, even if contradicted by something written here. You and your physician know your situation far better than I do. Thank you and be well. Eunice